Q: I'm expecting my first baby soon and was wondering if I can control visits from the grandparents. Both sets live out of town. The problem is, while I want my mom to come out and help ASAP, I'd rather my mother-in-law waited a month or so until I was more prepared to deal with company. My husband says it's not fair to make his mom wait. Is there a way to stall my in-laws' visit without offending them? Or do I just have to let them do whatever they want?
Steve: You and your husband get to call the shots on this one. It sounds like his in-laws are more work for you. Easy solution: His parents can come sooner, but he has to take off from work that week to help you out. If he doesn't like that, then they have to wait a month. Whoever visits first, make sure that each set of grandparents gets to spend the same amount of time with their new grandchild.
Mia: Steve's right. You don't have to have them in the delivery room with you, but if they would like to stay for a few days after you've gotten the mommy thing down, then let them know the best days to come. Just make sure that they feel welcome and get to spend lots of time with the baby. You're going to need them in the months ahead.
Q: My wife and I have been together for seven years. I'm 60 and she's 46. I'm very sexually active, but over the past year and a half she's lost her drive. I've been patient with her, but she doesn't budge. She stays up until 1 or 2 in the morning and comes to bed when I'm asleep. Please help me save my marriage before I go astray.
Mia: If she won't come to you, you go to her. Sex doesn't have to take place in the bedroom, you know. Try some naughty role playing to jazz things up, or buy some new sex toys. If you can't get her attention, gently suggest that she seek medical help. She could be suffering from low-level depression, a thyroid disorder or declining hormone levels. Her doctor might suggest localized estrogen therapy, a testosterone cream or some other treatment.
While women can't fall back on Viagra the way men can, there are options to put the sizzle back in your sex life. Whatever you do, don't stray. That will only make things worse.
Steve: Women your wife's age often go through changes that sap their sexual desire. She needs a chat with her doctor. Stick with her as she works this out.
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an altogether different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. For answers e-mail S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, Четыресто N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.
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